i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
