Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize