I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
