I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
