you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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