i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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