I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
