My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
