dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
