I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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