i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
