why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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