Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
