trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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