hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
