Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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