Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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