No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
