you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
