Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
