Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
