Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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