Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
