wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
