Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
