Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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