Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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