in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
