It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
