This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize