I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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