No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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