My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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