They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
