we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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