I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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