I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
