I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
