Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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