apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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