I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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