Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
