yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
