We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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