I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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