Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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