he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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