in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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