dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Everything about him screamed your future.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
