wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
