That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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