i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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