i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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