I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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