Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
