I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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