Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize