you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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