How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
nutella sex= disaster
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
