College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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