he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
