where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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