I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
