Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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