You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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