Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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