I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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