Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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