Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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