do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
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There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
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Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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